Saturday, December 25, 2010

Christmas Confused Heart Burned Hand

All the time my heart talks to me I come here, I discovered that there isn't anything better than letters, to reliefa Christmas, confused heart, burned hands from the Turkey I was cooking for 5 hours, my back hurts, and I like it, instead of focus on my confused heart I enjoy the back pain
How many times in life can I feel it?!?!
How many times in life can you feel it?!
When I was a kid I had a family around me to cook the Christmas meal for me, tonight was the first time I did it all myself, it felt like growing up. I DON'T WANNA GROW UP ! COME ON ! ! ! Yes I know the bla bla bla you have no choice, but, but but... but nothing htat's what it is now I better get used to burn my hands, sometimes I get confused, I know now more than ever, the time is flying there is no time to waste. I am here the Turkey is cooked everybody is fed, so that's my new feeling, I did it myself now I WON'T DO THE DISHES ! Maybe some... JUST SOME! I did everything... Holy cauliflower. It's almost my birthday, too much information, Christmas, New year , birthday new age, cook the Turkey do the dishes drink all the wine alone at home, because I felt too tired to go anywhere with my crew...
Don't say I am getting old okay?!
gr gr gr
I sing louder than ever, I hope 2010 can just go go go good bye leave me here alone okay I had enough of you and you, I don't wanna carry any guilt in 2011 aaaa I will carry my guitar everything else is just vain...

Monday, December 13, 2010

Potporri With Died Roses and Lemon Essential oil

The Days are getting too cold for me, Brazilian Soul . It's time to use my creativity that I " lost " during summer ... Staying inside all day I think of so many things, so I decide to use this old dried roses I had from a gift I got 3 months ago, and I also used Essential oil, Lemon and just a little tine bit of Tea Tree , The bowl I got from the dollar store, the same with the other dried flowers I used.
Now I am walking around the house looking for something else to do.

Monday, December 6, 2010

Show Time Look

That's my Friend Barbara , Beautiful Like a Barbie.
Our Look is Soft and Casual hahaha

Friday, December 3, 2010

Less Smoke More Voice

I sould be glad I can still sing after 3 days of NO VOICE coming out of my mouth.
After Ozzy Osborne do a 3 hours Show, screaming his life out , he made me lose my voice.
Now, I mean RIGHT now, I am drinking a Green Tea and thinking about,what tomorrow is gonna be like. Not the best thing to do, but as I am singing tomorrow I better "make" this voice work .
Between my voice and my thoughts I can't even have a glass of wine.

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Flower Ring to Your Lost Flowers in The Winter

Flower Ring ( Ardene )

If you can't find your flower : Look for help!
It might be just + just yourself.!.
Be stong like a flower, let's learn the time to die.
Water and it's alive forever .

Sunday, November 28, 2010

My after work Look.

Dress ( H&M )
Tights ( DKNY )
Shoes ( Aldo )

My Look to See OzzY

Stripeless Shirt ( H&M )
Bracelete ( MoM Bought from Paquistan )
Belt ( Cheap Store in Brazil )
Black Jeans ( Cheap Store at the Mall )
Boots ( Kensington Market )

Thursday, November 25, 2010

My Outfit Tonight

Picture by Clarisse Linda
Shirt (H&M)
Letter Pants ( America Apparel )
Shoes ( LillY )
Scarff ( China Town )
Bag ( Beer Store )

Haloween !!!

LipStick ( Lancome )
Top ( MoM Brought from India )
Pants ( ZARA )
Shoes ( MoM Brought from India )

Haloween Costume Beer Belly dancer

Friday, November 19, 2010

Faith to Save a Kid with Cancer

It's my Day off , I am leaving home in my usual day off hangover,
I have the Songs I like on my ipod and the Duffrein Bus won't make me hate Life, it's my day off.
I was going for a yoga massage with my mom and finally get to know what her work really means .
When I crossed the door and stepped inside the Clinic I saw this little boy playing with cars and two people who seemed to be his parents .
When he turned around to look who was there I noticed that one of his eyes was very swollen and as isntinct I looked deep in his good eye, smiled and said :
" Hello Cutie "
He answered very shy.
As I was waiting for my mom I set beside him and started playing with his cars ,
he was jealous
The secretary said that I would have to wait because they were an emergency case they came from very far to see my mom.
That was a 6 years old kid with very serious cancer and Parents with their hearts in their hands.
I could see that .
My mom brought them to her room, and 2 minuts after she came out and asked me to stay there too .
I set in a chair, we were in a circle and my mom asked some things that I didn't really hear,
he was sitting on his dad's lap , very scared .
When his mom started to talk she said that he had that Cancer since may 2009 , it started with little balls over his face and then he had a surgery to remove a big one in his belly,
but the doctors wouldn't remove the small ones.
Now it's past over a years and they didn't know what to do to save him anymore.
The diagnosis was that : He would live with that but he would never be cured, a little girl who had the same Cancer and died a month ago didn't live with that she couldn't even walk and there he was full of life, and for me he really seemed to be a normal kid, by the time his mom was saying that I was watching Cars 2 with him on my phone and thrying to hide her tears . I didn't want him to listen to all that again I imagine how many times before he had to...
We decided to take him to the Izunome Association, wich is a Japanase religion that is ll about peace and cure. They say that when you suffer it's purification and when you are sick you re going trough this process of purification, the same when somene you love is suffering you are going trough that with the person you both re purificating...
I knew they would find peace and faith there .
They left , I am here, I cried in bed.
How big my faith can be? Will I save him if pray evey day?!
I am confused , I love him already.

Thursday, October 14, 2010

I learned how to be patient with everybody, that I forgot to be with myself ...

It took me 21 years to learn .
It took me 210000 words, sentences and " advices ".
One day I notice I was letting someone , someoneS, oneS lots ...
I first had a quiet stomachache and then they came more and more often until the day I had to stay home because of it ...
So much that I had to have a serious conversation with myself .
She said: "Sorry"
I said: "Sorry"
But we knew things weren't the same anymore.
" It takes a while until you find yourself in life"
or something like that .
I didn't like the phrase that much to remember it.
I was drinking my wine and thinking about how I wanted to to to , I wasn't patient with myself already . Again .
Over and Over.
People suck your ... My .. our ... Energy ?!
Listened to things that I didn't want to , did things that I regret , not just one and that's it .
God ! It took me 21 years to learn.
And I never learned!

Saturday, September 11, 2010


Fuga de jardins, fim de verao , casa vazia , duas pessoas gritando , rindo bebendo whiskey com coca-cola diet e muito gelo.
Altos bem altos .
A tarde nao fiz nada, de manha ... Durmi , vou trabalhar pra poder fazer o que gastar .
Coisas que sao vistas ao vivo Quando pessoas falam falam falam..
Nossa isso e' tao famoso ..
Eu vi , voce viu ?
Eu vi Paul McCartney
E foi assim daquelas emocoes de sair gritando e contando pra todo mundo que
Eu ... Ah, Eu vi !

Sunday, June 6, 2010

Now we say a long Good Bye.

I went to the water with my mother
And I wanted to go back home, my phone is always the centre of my attention and we he said hi, my confused feelings tired of all those questions decided that now I make the questions .
I wanted to know more about his life, what he is doing lately and where he is going because I know he is going somewhere .
He answered all my ?
He is going away for ever, leaving the country and now that's the moment to say Good Bye , Good Luck , Have a Good new Life and my head is just confused with all these feeling .
I don't know what I am doing anymore, I just know how different life is now .
I know we are learning , we are growing up, and everything that would be possible is coming to be true, for you and me , boy and girl, man and woman .
Man and Woman.?.
Am I a woman, are you a Man ?
Today I went to bed with you in my thoughts and I woke up with your taste in my soul ...
Sometimes I don't know anymore , other times I know too much .
Are we strong ?
I mean, strong enough ?
We are never strong enough to lie , but we lie all the time.
I see we, us ... It's me .
E agora fico assim, vivendo, pensando te amando, desejando

Monday, May 31, 2010


Sinto dor de Cabeca
Sinto dor de ouvido
Dor no estomago me consome e come tudo o que esta dentro de mim.
Eu sei que todo mundo se embola na cabeca, fica confuso, grita sai correndo se perde
Se perde de novo ...
Eu fico no meio dessa confusao Humana sacudindo o meu eu eu eu
Durmo pra esquecer e perco as minhas horas esquecidas
De dia fico com medo a noite me escondo
E no final fica tudo bem claro , claro como a noite de luzes apagadas
E voce fica aqui, fica ali , sacode a minha vida , revira na volta o meu coracao
Que coracao ?
Se eu conseguisse sentir o sangue correndo em minhas veias eu juro que saia correndo
Tenho medo de nos , dos nos e das diferencas
Ah , sempre elas as diferencas .
Tem eu tem voce, tem eles que ficam andando ao redor de nos com vontade de sacudir
Se pudesse nunca mais gastaria as minhas horas de viver durmindo com sono de dUUrmir pra sempre sem ele
Sempre ele... Pra sempre .
Hoje te convido a dancar solidao , ou se preferes podemos ir jantar pirao de vento e lombo d'agua la em casa sem portas
Fico com medo de escuros e me acho em voceS

Sunday, May 9, 2010

Cuban Diary in Toronto Still.

A menina

Nice to meet you , this is my song . I mean , the name of it .

I am home, I bought sunscreen and today is mom's Day .

I really hope you can read Portuguese because my mom said these beautiful words and I have to share it


Linda te amo .

I am very anxious but no, wait I think that actually I am okay . I am checking google earth and watching the Island, We are going to a Caribbean Island and I will shoot the first music video of my life , is it a dream ??? ho ho hO

Answer = Nao Taina .

Friday, May 7, 2010

Cuban Diary .

One, Two , fly !

I got this Beautiful note Book from my friend and I will write all my Adventure in here.

I can't wait to see the Green ! Oh Meu DeuuuS!

Now I am here fighting ( ... ) my computer , writing this article for a Brazilian magazine . It is like... about relationship between teenagers , when they decide to be a couple and larilarala .

The Editor will read and correct whatever she wants , I mean change =p

I am very tense about going to Cuba and I can't have my afternoon nap anymore !!!

Clarisse is here with me and she is helping + getting green nails .

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

.Fighting my Body before Love trip to Cuba .

... And if it was 2 years ago maybe I would understand myself.

I look at my Body from the Best view of me , my eyes inside my Head .

I always have to carry something in my hands . Blah .

I walk around , fix mistakes , make ...S .

I don't remember when was the last time that I wore a Bikini and I feel fat and weird not comfortable with myself and this little peace of clothing that I am wearing right now just to start getting used to it again .

I am a Beach Girl .

I grew up on the Beach the sun and me we were always ... aaaa

What's wrong with me ???

I am a Beach Girl . I don't want to act weird in front of the world around me ( or the swimming pool ) get scared and RUN AWAY pra la just because I dont want them to look at my Body .

I touch my hair, I shake my pony tail and anything changes it is the same fat me here sitting and Blah .

I am a Beach Girl .

Monday, April 12, 2010

Someone else.

These crazy things that I will never understand .
I am getting addicted to alcohol ( getting) and I think that I am pregnant . Enough ?

If I am all what I am gonna do is ... What am I gonna do ? For now I will just buy a beer ... Tonight is our Big Show at the Bossa Club House and I am so ready ... I am not gonna smoke anything before the Show because I feel very breathless already .

I saw our picture yesterday on this magazine that's very popular here , and it was a very little picture but it makes me feel like a Queen , the Queen of whatever good .

I am scared of the future and I don't like this feeling.

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

I work like a Horse.

Sinceramente so escrevendo em portugues mesmo nesse teclado idiota que nao tem acentos


Faltam alguns poucos dias para o meu coiso e estou em um estado de nervos que ninguem me aguenta sinceramente ninguem merece .

Meu estomago doi, estou em um estado de nervos que nem meu propio peso me aguenta . Tudo que acontece e

( com som de e nao de i )


( mais uma vez )

por uma razao

Assistindo o clip do Nirvana que eu nunca vi em minha vida antes

bem criativo e colorido gostei bastante .

Estou bem confusa de meus sentimentos e pensamentos mas eu decidi que tudo que leva dessa eternidade que nao existe e (...) ser feliz e eu quero ser cem por cento feliz e mesmo que tudo esteja uma merda do caralho eu nao vou mais ficar com lamento no morro ou choranando ou 198324643219467 horas por dia bebada de preguica , nada disso passa a minha agunia, nem resolve , nem ajuda so atrapalha e da dor no estomago e negocio e (.. ) ficar queta e ser forte .

Minha melhor amiga , esta vindo em 19 dias , mal posso espera pra ir busca-la no aeroporto formar a nossa banda e parar de dar tempo ao tempo chega dessa merda.

Musica Paz Liberdade e ansiedade ! e muito trabalho ....

Sunday, March 28, 2010

Friday, March 26, 2010

Mais uma vez.

If I knew


If I knew

I was going to leave you .

Bring ... in my memory. I wouldn't have left you .

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Real Result.

Yes I went to the casting.

No I didn't get the Job ...

I got to see all my friends in there , but it was very silly and I hate it don't wanna remember it .

Result .

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Big Very Big Problem .

Oh please , someone in this planet please Help me .

I am about to go for this crazy audition for a Hip-Hop music Video , and I don't know if I just get up right now and go to school or go for the casting !!! aaaa

I just got home from this Model's Agency and I was suppose to take my pictures in a CD for them , when I got there the CD was empty !!! Ow !

" Wardrobe:
Sexy, revealing, hot outfit.
Please note that if chosen for the video you will be wearing a bathing suit for one shot. "

How am I going to wear Like this after the mutations that my Body went trough ?! God God God now I am home sitting in front of the computer feeling that I am the last and stupidest human in this planet because I can't find a solution or do anything fuck fuck fuck !

It feels really sad that I missed all my last classes but the class that I love I am doing really well ... Aaaaa

What am I gonna do about this video ?! Jesusususus !

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Fernando Pessoa.

Não só quem nos odeia ou nos inveja
Nos limita e oprime; quem nos ama
Não menos nos limita.
Que os deuses me concedam que, despido
De afectos, tenha a fria liberdade
Dos píncaros sem nada.
Quem quer pouco, tem tudo; quem quer nada
É livre; quem não tem, e não deseja,
Homem, é igual aos deuses.

Monday, March 8, 2010

Sem Corrigir voce , last words.

Oq voce quer??? Nao existe mais eu e voce juntos, vc passou dos lemites, ateh gostaria de perdoa la, mas eh contar meu orgulho. Vc fez oq estava na sua mente nao pensou nas consequecias. Ju, te amo e te amarei para sempre mas nunca teremos mais nada, nem vontade de olahr para voce eu tenho mais. Por favor me deixa em paz, vc tem tudo oq vc queria. Beijos

Thursday, February 25, 2010


Person 1:

I am very tired ...

my life is like a puzzle

I was very successful




4:01pm Person

hi ...

4:01pm Taina

yes that's how it is, it is made of ups and downs , and the most important is



than focused

than loved

because when you are determined you love, love yourself, my friend (Budah Moderno) really thought me how to love my self I wish you could meet him but he went back to BRASIL.

4:02pm Person 1 :

some big some small we deal with stress and problems on daily basis

4:03pm Taina

yes WE do and then we have fun .

4:03pm Person 1:

I don't know how to describe my pain to you,

I just went too far

I did

4:05pm Taina

We are all made of pain ...

You don't have to describe

I understand ,

when we have an objective we go ahead carrying our pain .

Sunday, February 21, 2010

Recorded First Beatles Song : Girl .

Sunday 7:20am I wake up.

Again, It is Sunday

no subway until 9am.

0 dollars in my wallet ,

I am suppose to be at work by 7:30 ... Cab ... Seja o que Deus quiser.

After a horse day at work, I went to the STUDIO ...

I recorded the song Girl, written by John and Paul . Singing is Hard . I am gonna practice 34 times more .

... at least I got this amazing feeling . I like to hear to my own Voice, sometimes I wish I had a better rock n' roll thing, but I am Bossa Nova and Samba ...
I want to get better better and better , I probably will , specially if I don't smoke ( which not is gonna happen ) .

I had a little bit of Heart pain today , a nice scene of a memory came to my eyes and I could feel it all over my body . We used to have so much fun when we were High, I hope I can feel with someone else ... the same happiness .

I hope I can be Happy again . STOP ... grrrr

I love today ... Today is almost tomorrow / Yesterday.

Saturday, February 20, 2010

Happened !

When your Heart tell you something you better listen to it .

I didn't listen to mine yesterday and all what I didn't want happened .

Instead of stay home and finish my article I went to a bar , as soon I got there, I was walking around ... yelling ... and I see him!!! and everyone else that is around his life ( I hate them ) , again, all that blood pouring trough my throat ...

He sent me text messages judging judging judging ...

Everything that I didn't want to remember was facing me again .

I wish I could understand why the universe is doing that?! . Why I have to see him wherever I go .
Maybe it is to show me that I must be home reading all the time , or it is just to make him hate me forever .

I saw the day, and the sun was shining when I got home from work and that made me really happy .

I feel that I need to go away , see trees and swim . No coats or Boots .

I don't want to talk about this love , it is hard to erase things .

AGAIN listen to that voice who tells you what to do . If I had listened to my voice ... Well it doesn't really change anything anymore.

My mom told me to STOP .


Friday, February 19, 2010

First I am gonna tell you Why .

I am home alone.

It is Friday night and I bought six beers . I am writing the first article of my life for a popular Brazilian Magazine.

Maybe I am drunk already and I am crying because I am not too strong or too sensitive. I thought they were the same .

I am holding my tears because I wanna be strong.

I left my man . The one that I woke up with every day of my Life .

I feel like a broken hand and I am saying too many times to myself that I miss him and I am really tired of it , he is in my dreams and I don't want it . The last dream that I had was so brutal as what I did to him. I feel the guilt running all over my Body.

I keep asking if it was a mistake , now is too Late , even if you tell me " it is never too late " it is now .

When I left home I thought I was going to be happy and free . I was happy and free and I was too blind with my selfishness that I couldn't see it . I lost the man of my Life.

Today when I was at a photo shoot I felt really powerful , now I know, I am just paper and letters .

There is no pain Like Love .