Thursday, February 25, 2010

CHAT

Person 1:

I am very tired ...

my life is like a puzzle

I was very successful

focused

determined

loved

4:01pm Person

hi ...

:D:D
4:01pm Taina

yes that's how it is, it is made of ups and downs , and the most important is

BE

determined

than focused

than loved

because when you are determined you love, love yourself, my friend (Budah Moderno) really thought me how to love my self I wish you could meet him but he went back to BRASIL.

4:02pm Person 1 :

some big some small we deal with stress and problems on daily basis

4:03pm Taina

yes WE do and then we have fun .

4:03pm Person 1:

I don't know how to describe my pain to you,

I just went too far

I did

4:05pm Taina

We are all made of pain ...


You don't have to describe

I understand ,

when we have an objective we go ahead carrying our pain .

Sunday, February 21, 2010

Recorded First Beatles Song : Girl .

Sunday 7:20am I wake up.

Again, It is Sunday

no subway until 9am.

0 dollars in my wallet ,

I am suppose to be at work by 7:30 ... Cab ... Seja o que Deus quiser.

After a horse day at work, I went to the STUDIO ...

I recorded the song Girl, written by John and Paul . Singing is Hard . I am gonna practice 34 times more .

... at least I got this amazing feeling . I like to hear to my own Voice, sometimes I wish I had a better rock n' roll thing, but I am Bossa Nova and Samba ...
I want to get better better and better , I probably will , specially if I don't smoke ( which not is gonna happen ) .

I had a little bit of Heart pain today , a nice scene of a memory came to my eyes and I could feel it all over my body . We used to have so much fun when we were High, I hope I can feel with someone else ... the same happiness .

I hope I can be Happy again . STOP ... grrrr

I love today ... Today is almost tomorrow / Yesterday.

Saturday, February 20, 2010

Happened !

When your Heart tell you something you better listen to it .

I didn't listen to mine yesterday and all what I didn't want happened .

Instead of stay home and finish my article I went to a bar , as soon I got there, I was walking around ... yelling ... and I see him!!! and everyone else that is around his life ( I hate them ) , again, all that blood pouring trough my throat ...

He sent me text messages judging judging judging ...

Everything that I didn't want to remember was facing me again .

I wish I could understand why the universe is doing that?! . Why I have to see him wherever I go .
Maybe it is to show me that I must be home reading all the time , or it is just to make him hate me forever .

I saw the day, and the sun was shining when I got home from work and that made me really happy .

I feel that I need to go away , see trees and swim . No coats or Boots .

I don't want to talk about this love , it is hard to erase things .

AGAIN listen to that voice who tells you what to do . If I had listened to my voice ... Well it doesn't really change anything anymore.

My mom told me to STOP .

STOP .

Friday, February 19, 2010

First I am gonna tell you Why .

I am home alone.

It is Friday night and I bought six beers . I am writing the first article of my life for a popular Brazilian Magazine.

Maybe I am drunk already and I am crying because I am not too strong or too sensitive. I thought they were the same .

I am holding my tears because I wanna be strong.

I left my man . The one that I woke up with every day of my Life .

I feel like a broken hand and I am saying too many times to myself that I miss him and I am really tired of it , he is in my dreams and I don't want it . The last dream that I had was so brutal as what I did to him. I feel the guilt running all over my Body.

I keep asking if it was a mistake , now is too Late , even if you tell me " it is never too late " it is now .

When I left home I thought I was going to be happy and free . I was happy and free and I was too blind with my selfishness that I couldn't see it . I lost the man of my Life.

Today when I was at a photo shoot I felt really powerful , now I know, I am just paper and letters .

There is no pain Like Love .