Thursday, February 25, 2010


Person 1:

I am very tired ...

my life is like a puzzle

I was very successful




4:01pm Person

hi ...

4:01pm Taina

yes that's how it is, it is made of ups and downs , and the most important is



than focused

than loved

because when you are determined you love, love yourself, my friend (Budah Moderno) really thought me how to love my self I wish you could meet him but he went back to BRASIL.

4:02pm Person 1 :

some big some small we deal with stress and problems on daily basis

4:03pm Taina

yes WE do and then we have fun .

4:03pm Person 1:

I don't know how to describe my pain to you,

I just went too far

I did

4:05pm Taina

We are all made of pain ...

You don't have to describe

I understand ,

when we have an objective we go ahead carrying our pain .

Sunday, February 21, 2010

Recorded First Beatles Song : Girl .

Sunday 7:20am I wake up.

Again, It is Sunday

no subway until 9am.

0 dollars in my wallet ,

I am suppose to be at work by 7:30 ... Cab ... Seja o que Deus quiser.

After a horse day at work, I went to the STUDIO ...

I recorded the song Girl, written by John and Paul . Singing is Hard . I am gonna practice 34 times more .

... at least I got this amazing feeling . I like to hear to my own Voice, sometimes I wish I had a better rock n' roll thing, but I am Bossa Nova and Samba ...
I want to get better better and better , I probably will , specially if I don't smoke ( which not is gonna happen ) .

I had a little bit of Heart pain today , a nice scene of a memory came to my eyes and I could feel it all over my body . We used to have so much fun when we were High, I hope I can feel with someone else ... the same happiness .

I hope I can be Happy again . STOP ... grrrr

I love today ... Today is almost tomorrow / Yesterday.

Saturday, February 20, 2010

Happened !

When your Heart tell you something you better listen to it .

I didn't listen to mine yesterday and all what I didn't want happened .

Instead of stay home and finish my article I went to a bar , as soon I got there, I was walking around ... yelling ... and I see him!!! and everyone else that is around his life ( I hate them ) , again, all that blood pouring trough my throat ...

He sent me text messages judging judging judging ...

Everything that I didn't want to remember was facing me again .

I wish I could understand why the universe is doing that?! . Why I have to see him wherever I go .
Maybe it is to show me that I must be home reading all the time , or it is just to make him hate me forever .

I saw the day, and the sun was shining when I got home from work and that made me really happy .

I feel that I need to go away , see trees and swim . No coats or Boots .

I don't want to talk about this love , it is hard to erase things .

AGAIN listen to that voice who tells you what to do . If I had listened to my voice ... Well it doesn't really change anything anymore.

My mom told me to STOP .


Friday, February 19, 2010

First I am gonna tell you Why .

I am home alone.

It is Friday night and I bought six beers . I am writing the first article of my life for a popular Brazilian Magazine.

Maybe I am drunk already and I am crying because I am not too strong or too sensitive. I thought they were the same .

I am holding my tears because I wanna be strong.

I left my man . The one that I woke up with every day of my Life .

I feel like a broken hand and I am saying too many times to myself that I miss him and I am really tired of it , he is in my dreams and I don't want it . The last dream that I had was so brutal as what I did to him. I feel the guilt running all over my Body.

I keep asking if it was a mistake , now is too Late , even if you tell me " it is never too late " it is now .

When I left home I thought I was going to be happy and free . I was happy and free and I was too blind with my selfishness that I couldn't see it . I lost the man of my Life.

Today when I was at a photo shoot I felt really powerful , now I know, I am just paper and letters .

There is no pain Like Love .